A breakup letter to my comfort zone
For the sensitive, saying “Yes” to something that scares us — any tiny-little laughable-to-someone-else thing — is anything but a casually uttered response. It is more often than we would like the assurance of setting our insides on fire. Answering that phone call feels like three shots of espresso, entering into relationship is a skydive with no parachute, shifting sails to a new direction stirs up an inner storm so turbulent you pray to God the boat doesn’t sink so you don’t have to tread your way up from another abyss. So, why do we say yes? Why do we willingly walk through the tortuous flames that agreeing to something scary ignites? Because it’s true what they say. Nothing kills you quicker than stagnancy. Our soul gnaws at us silently, as we live day after day behind the safety net of “No.” Dissatisfaction twists our guts and turns, until we face the truth that the only way to undo these knots is to do things — differently. To lean into the things we run from. We know what we want is on the other side. Freedom from our fears are ultimately what we want. None of us escape this.
But for the especially sensitive- saying “Yes” is not some thoughtless response, No. Every yes is an awakening of another paralyzed fiber inside coming alive with the electricity of a rattled bee-hive. It is another chip away at the suffocating fear gripping the reins of our life. It is the beginning of a new one.